Shifting gears, it is a matetr of focus II

So the woman in my latest post has started to wish for new qualities in her partner that do not exist in her husband. She is no longer enchanted by what she used to love in him, and this change of heart is creating new desires. As she feeds these desires, they have to materialize in her life sooner or later, and for this to happen, the man in her life has to go and be replaced by another who has the qualities she wishes for. This woman does not believe in herself or in her power of creation; she thinks that she is just day dreaming while she keeps living with a man she no longer interested in.

One day, she is shocked to see her life unravelling in front of her eyes. The power of her thoughts is clearing the old away to create a space for the new. Taking by “surprise” and overwhelmed by what is happening, she would never believe that she has created this. She feels disempowered and helpless. If she succumbs to this feeling and to the negative thoughts that are swarming in her head, the situation can go into a tailspin and move from bad to worse. But the truth is, she can turn the situation around in whatever direction she pleases if she extracts herself from the negativity of the situation, and clear her mind.

To gain control of the situation, she first needs to realize and acknowledge that she has created what she is experiencing. She had a silent wish to change the relationship she was in, and now it is happening, maybe not in the way she was hoping it will be, but that is only because she didn’t believe that she can create at will. What she is living at the moment is a point of confronting her fears (we can also call these “conflicting thoughts”), which kept her in an unsatisfactory relationship. These could be financial fears because she does not believe that she can survive on her own, or related to herself image, maybe she feel that she is too old to be desirable, or she doesn’t want to be alone, etc. Whatever her dominant beliefs about herself and her life are, these will be the factors she will have to face when change happens. Acknowledging that all what she observes is a creation of her programming and her thought process is a must, because only then she would realize that if she has created this situation, she can create anything else instead.

Most of us consider daydreaming as a safe and easy way to fantasize about whatever we wish for, after all, these thoughts have been confined to our heads and we didn’t take any course of action to make them true. The leap between mere thoughts and objective reality is too great for many to believe that they are linked. When faced with a situation in concrete reality, it is hard to trace the origin of that situation to thoughts they had. But if we look closely at any situation we are facing, we will see that every element of that situation conforms to what we believe about the nature of that situation. If the woman is arguing that this is the case because this IS the nature of life, then she is not getting the point, and she does not yet believe that she is a creator in her life.

After acknowledging that she is the creator of that situation, she is now taking responsibility of her life’s direction. She needs to be clear about what she wants; the last thing in the world she wants to do is to create opposing desires in her mind, which would only translate into an open conflict in her life. So she has to spend some time focusing on what she really wants. Did she lose all connections to her husband and she wants to move on, or does she want to save her marriage and reignite the spark they once had. These questions are not moral questions; there is no one choice that is better than the other. All she needs to do is to make a decision one way or the other, and make this her focal point of creation. The only caveat she needs to remember is that fear-based decisions don’t usually lead to the best of outcomes.

Whatever path she chooses to follow, she had to commit herself to it fully. If she decides to stay in her marriage, no matter what is going on in her “reality”, she has to keep focusing on the positive parts on the marriage, maybe she finds out that despite all his “quirks”, her husband is still a great man. She has to bring the reasons that she cherish in her marriage into her focus; she should only think of all the good things that make her marriage a good one, focus on the best qualities of her husband and remember the good times they have spent together. As long as she can keep her mind focused on the positive aspects on her marriage, and imagine how she wants to see it happily going forward, she will find that the bad situation that engulfed her is gradually dissipating and her life not only going back to normal, but being happier than it was before. She should keep a watch out for any conflicting thoughts that creeps into her mind, or better still use the method to reprogram her mind to see only the positive and create from it.

On the other hand, if she decides to move on and realize her dreams with someone else. She should let go of the old relationship without conflict; she should only focus on the positive in her head, and not let the fears on the unknown takes over. What appears frightening now, she will soon find out that it is never as bad as she have imagined it as long as she keeps her mind positive. Creating a program for herself and staying positive, even if it requires just watching comedies, will bring her to where she want to go.


* To learn more about this program and how to change your life using it visit I See Light.

Shifting gears, it is a matter of focus

One of the hardest points to accept in the notion that you completely create your life is when you are going through difficult times. People will quickly retort “I would have never put myself in this situation if I am creating my life”.

This is a very common statement that applies to a wide range of situations that certainly happened in everyone’s life at some point or another. The problem is when you create your life without awareness, you don’t know what you are creating, and sometimes you are presented with a monster.

As I take cues from life, recently I have witnessed situations when “bad”, “unexpected” things happened to good people, so I want to focus this post on the type of situations I call: Facing Change.

Who among us did not live a situation when she felt that her life is crumbling around her, spinning out of control and the sands of change is sweeping across her familiar landscape? She is totally confused and does not know where her life is heading. I think it is totally safe to assume that this happened to all of us in one way or another. It could have happened in a relationship when you suddenly found yourself in quicksand, maybe even facing divorce or unknown future. It could have happened at the workplace being laid off and facing financial uncertainty; or it could be any other situation when the familiar s changing so rapidly that you get dizzy and don’t know where to go.

For a person who is going through the stress of such a situation, the last thing she wants to hear is that she created it herself, and that she is in control of what is going on, as well as the outcome. But if we trace the initiation of thought that have led to that situation, we will be able to see why she “suddenly” found herself in a situation not to her liking. We will also explore how she can remain in control of what is going on at all times.

The principles of how we create our lives are simple; they progress from observation to desire, and then creation. As we live our lives, we observe what is going around us and we make judgments about everything and everyone. These judgments can be either positive or negative and vary in severity based on the emotional reaction the observed person/subject evokes in us. As we keep observing the same people/subjects our judgments accumulate and turn into strong opinions about them. If these opinions are positive, we find ourselves happy about who/what we observe and wanting more of the same. But if these opinions are not positive, we find ourselves unhappy and wanting to change, or see something different in what we observe. Not only that, but we also create an idea about what we would like to observe instead. And this idea that has been created in our mind needs and has to materialize in our life, but it cannot happen as long as we are living in the old, now undesired, creation. So the only way for the new to come in, is for the old to go away.

Let’s make this idea more concrete by putting it in a real life context. A woman starts a new relationship; she is very happy and excited about this man because she sees in him a lot of what she has wished for in a man. She is only focused on these desired qualities and does not see any faults in him; all his “quirks” are invisible to her. The two are happy, get married and live happily for a few years. As time passes by and the demands of life occupy a lot of their time, when they are tired they cannot focus anymore solely on the positive aspects of each other; she starts to be irritated by his “quirks”. She also started to observe certain qualities in others that she wishes her husband posses. Some of her colleagues are more charming, or maybe more attuned to her feelings; and maybe her sister’s husband is more involved in the house chorus or more appreciative of his wife. She starts to desire these qualities in her man as well and an image, of the man she wishes to be married to, is created in her mind which does not correspond to the image of the man she is actually married to; and there a crack in her creation has happened.

At some point, the focus on what is in her mind will be stronger than her focus on what she already has, and because creation follows what you focus upon the new image wants to be materialized. This will happen in one of two ways, generally speaking; either the woman believes in herself and knows that she creates her own reality and takes steps to live the life that she desires and deserves. Or she does not believe in herself and thinks that she is a leaf in the wind who has no power on the direction of her life and the only thing she can do is to keep dreaming. One day this later friend of ours will wake up to find the ground moving under her feet. She finds out that the marriage she wanted, for a long time, to change is now on the line in a completely shocking, surprising and unexpected way. Maybe her husband has decided to leave her, or maybe he ran away with her best friend, or any dramatic scenario of the infinite numbers of way we see marriages end with, which are in the end controlled by what she expects of both him and herself. Now she stands in the middle of this not knowing what has hit her or how it did happen. She feels disempowered and not in control.

To be continued …..

* To learn more about this program and how to change your life using it visit I See Light.

Why not to judge

When we fully understand that our lives are completely and utterly governed by the programs that run inside our heads*, we will start to see other people’s actions in a different light. This is because any action that is not in our repertoire of actions available to us, will be impossible to interpret correctly. Instead we will look for the closest label/stereotype we can think of and label that action with. To demonstrate this point, I will give a practical example, which I am pretty sure is familiar to everyone.

A few days ago, as I was walking in a parking lot, I saw three young men leaving their car, and as they were passing a garbage pin suddenly started kicking it mercilessly. In a normal day, the rational mind that governs my life will search all the command lines in its program to find an explanation for the action it just witnessed. To my rational mind, actions usually have a purpose, a motive and an aim. But my program will not find any matching desirable outcome that will result from the action “kick the garbage pin mercilessly”. So it will immediately jump into the cluster of actions labeled “senseless”, and label the action as such. If will then try to judge the people who performed that action; for my rational program which values “intelligent decisions” highly, it will rank the people who performed that action low on its scale and will easily and without qualm label them as “idiots”, and move on.

For another person who has witnessed the same action, she might label the kids as “high on drugs” or “coming from bad homes” or even, with some empathy, “kids who are venting out some frustration”. Someone will say that all these seem to be plausible explanations of what these kids have done, they might even all be true. But I believe that none of them come anywhere close to what the young men have experienced in their own lives.

You see, all the explanations that I have perceived from other people still fall within the range of explanations that are acceptable by my program, because my program cannot perceive anything that is beyond what is within its command lines. So I will never meet someone who will tell me that these young men have performed an extremely creative act, or an act of love beyond description, even if they, in their own views, did. This is because anything that is been told to me, is translated to the closest thing to it that I have in my program. Once I understood this, I looked at the kids, suspended judgment, and marveled on what on earth they have just done and I could not understand. I walked away feeling a sense of awe, instead of a sense of condemnation.

How many times before did you say “I cannot understand why anyone will do something like that”? Now you have a glimpse at why someone else will do something that is incomprehensible to you. So next time, you encounter a situation which defies logic (your logic), try to suspend judgment, and consider that this act was governed by a program that, at least in some part, is alien to you. And that what you have noticed is an interpretation, not absolute reality. The more you do that, the more your life will transform in front of you, because you will allow other programs to function beside yours, and you will see in no one else life, less validity than in yours. The negative energy of judgment will become the positive energy of awe.

* To learn more about this program and how to change your life using it visit I See Light.